So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
