you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
