ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
