The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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