Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
