she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
