I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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