she woke up with a sticky ear
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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