Soap is not a condiment
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
