i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
