My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
how does that bad decision feel?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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