At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
