I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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