maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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