Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
