You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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