I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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