fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
