matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
