i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize