Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
