I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
