they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
