also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
