Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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