This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
