It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
