its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
