I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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