I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
