I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
