My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well I just put wine in my tea
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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