i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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