just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
