Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize