I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We left the knife in your bed.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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