I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
