Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
