your room smells of hookers.
And success
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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