And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize