dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
