her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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