He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
