I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
