Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
