sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
