no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize