Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
