D3 body, D1 cock
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize