Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
