found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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