As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
