just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
