She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
