is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
