yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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