im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
