Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
