she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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