You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
