Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
