Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
