Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
