When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
