had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
