Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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