all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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