you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
