She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
someone owes me an orgasm
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
