I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
