Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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