Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize