note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
