did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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