Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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